The lost feelings…

You know you’re fucked when you’re only 17 but yet it feels like the world could end right there and you would be fine with it. It’s fucked when girls and boys are so young but so depressed, so heartbroken. Feelings fuck you up, i remember when i was only a little girl and i had this whole life ahead of me and all I wanted was a boyfriend. And now after having one, I don’t understand why I needed one, it’s messed me up. Emotionally and physically, I am fucked.
He was the type of boy you could just see yourself lasting forever with, and that’s exactly what I did. He teased me so much that I used to sook about it, but that didn’t matter because at least he was making me smile in some way. He cared so deeply, and he was so sensitive even though everyone I knew saw him as this big tough guy. He was gentle, he was romantic, it was like we were 23 and just madly in love. Our relationship was beyond what you would expect at such a young age, but we were just so maturely in love. But that’s the thing, i’m not 23, i’m so young and now i’m heartbroken and it’s not as simple as going out every night to get him out of my head. I have to sleep early because of school, i have to go to school, I have to study and commit to all of my commitments and it’s impossible to get him out of my mind. He wasn’t just my boyfriend, he was genuinely my best friend and sometimes we fought as best friends would. But no matter how we were fighting, we fought as hard as we could for each other because that’s what love does to you. But one day i guess he just decided to stop fighting, and it wasn’t like I was expecting it. We always swore we would fight for each other, fight for the relationship, fight for our fucking love but he didn’t want too anymore. He didn’t want me anymore, and i can say with all my broken heart that killed me. It’s the worst thing to wake up happily in love and then go to bed broken because you’ve lost the reason why you even got up that day. He said he lost feelings, but I can’t place when. When did he lose feelings? With all of that sweet talk, the texts, the calls, the hugs, everything and at some point he somehow started to lose feelings.”

5 thoughts on “The lost feelings…

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  1. All relationships teach us to learn loving ourselves first. Whether we know it or not it’s our own shadow in the ‘others’ that we love the most. Relationships come to show us the mirror with stains and then we need to clean them one by one until none is left. I wish you love and light in your life.

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  2. “It’s the worst thing to wake up happily in love and then go to bed broken because you’ve lost the reason why you even got up that day”… Break ups ate just so heart breaking…

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  3. Teenage angst is something everyone has gone thriugh, I knew it well. This too shall pass. You will find love again. Believe it. Keep writing, keep hoping, keep moving forward. Light and love is all around you!

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  4. Hi there,
    Well, this happened to me too. And I was broken when he said that lost feelings long time back but he had no courage to say it. He was so good at pretending that I didn’t even understand. He left me and I was so confused.
    But I think, it’s gonna be better with time. Every thing and every person is a lesson in our lives. Ok? Hold on tight. 🙂
    Hugs xx

    Liked by 1 person

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